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I like to think of myself as the 'crazy mom of four'. I'm 31 years old and I love my life, my kids, my husband and my God. "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Eliot

Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day, Abbey style...

So, we rearranged our house a bit yesterday. With us working at home this summer, we needed to move a computer desk upstairs and make room for it in the living room. This meant moving the China cabinet into the already tiny dining room, where it belongs anyway. We got it all situated and it looks great, even if our dining room is cramped and we had to take the leaf out of the table, so it now only seats four.


In the process of rearranging, we came across a blank thank you card and Kris told Abbey she could have it. She was being all secretive and writing in it, hiding it anytime we would walk near her. She kept saying we couldn't look at it.

Later that afternoon, she kept asking me if the mail would come and I told her that the mail didn't come on Memorial Day. She hid *something* behind her back; I pretended not to know what it was. She told me she was going to recycle something outside and I left it at that. Today she said "I wonder if that mail came." I told her that it didn't come and she said "Maybe you should check anyway." I obliged, knowing full well she had put something in the mailbox yesterday when she was supposedly recycling! Inside was the card we gave her yesterday. She had written thank you in it, to Kris and I, for being her mommy and daddy. Then she wrote "Thank you for not killing me when I was in your stomach." She thinks of the oddest things (and then speaks them aloud!)...I am not sure if she was referring to abortion (which we've barely glossed over with her) or what. Later she started asking me about the baby that died in my stomach. I had a miscarriage a few years ago, and this is what she was talking about. Then we had a lengthy conversation about whether or not it was a boy or a girl and we should ask God when we got to heaven to show us the baby that died.

Anyway...that was a cute and funny little story, but has little to do with Memorial Day. The reason that I titled this as I did is because Abbey asked me yesterday who was going to stay home with them today. I explained to her that we were all going to be home because Monday was Memorial Day. At the time, she was writing in the thank you card I mentioned above. She asked me what Memorial Day was and I told her it was a day that we remember all the soldiers who have fought and died in wars and the people who still fight so that we can have freedom. Then she said the sweetest thing. She said "Oh I wish I could have given this thank you card to a soldier!" I assured her we could buy another thank you card for her to give to a soldier. She makes me smile.

On a completely different note, I indulged in two fuzzy navels at a birthday party Saturday night. I think that was what led to the horrific night that ensued. I don't drink much, at all. In fact I think the last time I had a drink was maybe last September? And when I do drink, it has never been more than 2 drinks total...and I only drink the girly drinks, the ones with more juice than alcohol in them. But I enjoyed my two drinks Saturday night and thought nothing of it, until I woke up Sunday morning. You see, I had a nightmare that night. A horrible, vivid nightmare, that I hope to never experience the likes of again. Here is how it went:

It began with Abbey almost getting kidnapped by some strange man. Right after that, I saw Olivia standing near an open window. I knew we were in a two story building. It was just one of those things you know in dreams. I still am not sure if she fell or jumped, but out the window she went, crashing down to the ground. I ran downstairs and outside to see her tiny little body all contorted on the ground. I bent down next to her and talked to her for a few minutes and then she died right in front of my eyes. As if that wasn't bad enough, I didn't wake up. The dream continued all night. I went through days of grieving her, and planning her funeral. It was absolutely awful! I have never had a dream like that before and hope to never repeat it.

When I woke up, I was exhausted. That was one of the first nights I slept straight through the night, and yet I felt like I hadn't gotten any sleep. I still can't get the image of her little broken limbs out of my head. Kaleb was sick yesterday morning and so I stayed home from church with him. He and I went back to bed around 9:30am and slept until 1pm.

Needless to say, I will not be indulging in any sweet, alcoholic beverages again anytime soon!

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