About Me

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I like to think of myself as the 'crazy mom of four'. I'm 31 years old and I love my life, my kids, my husband and my God. "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Eliot

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I'm still here

I'm alive and well, in case you were concerned. After reading a comment just now from my previous post, I realized that I hadn't posted since my despondent rambling of early last week so I thought I would check in and let my faithful readers know that all is well with me. That hopeless feeling did indeed pass, as I knew it would.

Life has not slowed down though. In fact, it seems to speed up more and more each day. A coworker and I have switched jobs. I can't remember if I wrote about this already and so if it is a repeat, I apologize. While I am feeling better emotionally, I don't have enough mental energy right now to open up a new Google tab and read through old posts to find out (i.e. I'm lazy).

Until last week, I was driving to Fenton every day. On a good day, it took me right around 30 minutes to get there. On a bad day...well...fortunately there weren't too many of those!! Regardless, it gave me plenty of time to read. Those of you that know me, know that I listen to books while I drive. I'm telling you, I was against it at first. Kris finally won me over to listening to books when life started to speed up. I love to read and didn't seem to have any time anymore to read. So now when I am working out or driving or cleaning, I can just pop the headphones in and 'read'. It's a great way to pass the time.

I was the 'onsite liaison' for one of our clients, so I had a desk and worked right there with some great adjusters, assisting on files, making sure the people we hired did their job, etc. My coworker was in our actual office, dispatching claims, which is a fancy term for logging contact and accident info into our system and finding a local appraiser to investigate, take pictures, statements and so on. Extremely exciting insurance-related stuff. In addition to our primary roles, we also each have several other tasks that we are responsible for. I've been onsite at Vanliner for over two years now I believe. Maybe it's only been over one. I can't remember. It's been quite a while though. And I really enjoy being there. But I was getting extremely burnt out. And I didn't even realize how bad it was until last week, when we switched places.

Between last week and this one, I have been about 110% MORE productive. And I realized why tonight. Change is sometimes very good. Change is hard for some people, and while this change has called for quite a bit of adjusting, overall I am happy with it. I love my job again. And that is a great feeling. I still haven't really been able to fully jump into my role in our actual office, interacting with my other coworkers, all six of them. I've gone to a much smaller office too which is odd but I have barely been there. The girl I switched with was sick this week and so I filled in for her on Monday and Tuesday at our client's office. She was scheduled to be out today through Monday too, so I am back down in Fenton until Tuesday. While I was only gone a week, I have missed my adjusters down there. It's been good to be back among them, though I do look forward to getting into the swing of things downtown once Tara gets back. Ultimately, it feels good to change things up and have a different role now. It has energized me really.

Perhaps one of the greatest pluses for me is now when one of the kids is sick or they have a snow day, or one of their many random days off for no apparent reason, I can actually work from home. I am not required anymore to be onsite with our client each day, so I feel less pressure if someone is sick. It's hard for me to be productive from home, but it can be done, even with the four Little Bishops running around. And if Tara is sick or needs to be out, I can fill in for her down in Fenton. I don't know about her, but so far I am enjoying the change, and it feels good to give 100% again. I was getting so tired of the same thing every day and when you are weighed down, it is really hard to give everything you've got. So admittedly, I was not giving everything like I had in the past. It was a slow progression that left me to wanting to play on Facebook all day (not that I did!) instead of focusing on what needed to be done. And I HATE feeling like I could do more, or I could give more, but just not having the energy to do it.

On a different note, we had to sock almost another $1000 into Clifford the Big Red Van. I'm so tired of that van! Besides the fact that it hates me and won't blow out heat whenever I ride in it, I just feel like we are always putting money into it. This time the fuel pump went out. Kris and I weighed out our options. We didn't really have any. We NEED a van. We can't realistically (or legally) fit into my Explorer. And we can't afford a used van right now, which means we certainly can't afford a car payment. But we talked today about actually sticking to our budget and how if we do that, we would actually be able to save a decent chuck of money in a short period of time. So hopefully what we just did to the van will last us until we can sell it or trade it in for a newer used van. Preferably one that has a heater that works.

Lastly for tonight, I went back to the Y this evening. I haven't been in a couple of weeks. Kris and I commute to work now, since we go to the same place. We're saving on gas, though that money is now being spent to keep the kids in extended care so that we can work a full day. But that has left me unable to get up early and go to the Y on my way to work, or stop by on the way home. Abbey has speech therapy on Mondays and Wednesdays at 5:30 now so we are really limited. And if there is anything we try to be consistent about, it is the kids' 7:00pm bedtime! Trust me...I don't care hold old they are getting. They still need that sleep! We get up at 6am every day now (well the kids do while we usually drag ourselves up by 6:20) and if they go to bed late, like they did tonight because Kris and Kaleb's Tae Kwon Do doesn't get out until 8pm, they are cranky!! Or the ones that aren't cranky burst into tears at random intervals throughout the day. Anyway...with therapy and working different hours but riding together, it is harder to get to the Y now. We're shooting for Tues/Thurs/Sat though and hopefully we can stick to that schedule. A little tip about stationary bikes. If the heart rate sensors aren't working, it's probably not a good idea to pick a random workout that adjusts the resistance based on your heart rate. At the end there, with the sensor being temperamental, it took me from a resistance of 6 up to 12. And let me just tell you that was NOT easy. My knee seemed to tolerate it ok. It was puffy and red when I finished but by the time I got out of the shower it looked and felt better. And overall, it just felt good to work out again.

Ok that is enough for tonight. I'd better stop now...are you still awake???

1 comment:

  1. hey,
    glad to see you made it out of the funk =). And when it comes to my job I agree on change gives me a new out look and something new to challenge myself.