About Me

My photo
I like to think of myself as the 'crazy mom of four'. I'm 31 years old and I love my life, my kids, my husband and my God. "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Eliot

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I hate feeling this way

From time to time, I just feel 'hopeless'. It's not as dramatic as it sounds. But I have these days where I feel 'down' about everything. Everything looks bleak. I feel sad. I'm on the verge of tears. Even when things in my life are going well. There are just these days. Fortunately I am learning that they don't last and it must just be some crazy female hormone imbalance, but when those days hit it's like being run over by a truck. At least emotionally...

Over the years I have tried to explain to Kris that sometimes women cry and...I know this is hard to wrap your head around...we don't always know the reason why. We've experienced this with Katherine (age 9) many, many times. It happens with Abbey and from Kaleb every now and again. Last night I watched this happen to Olivia. And sadly for my girls, it won't get better as they get older. There will still be moments and days that they find themselves 'emotional' for no good reason. It happens to me when I am really tired, whether that be physically or emotionally. When I am tired, that is when I struggle the most to reign in my emotions!

Today is one of those days. Not with the crying so much. Just the sad feeling, and feeling like nothing matters. Nothing I do, nothing I eat...who cares about any of it? Because I certainly don't. For today...

I'm thankful to God that those times don't last. But I really don't like them when they come. It's that longing to curl up in a little ball and hide from the world. To just zone out, tune out, and just not care about anything. That's where I am at today. I am confident that I will not feel this way tomorrow though so I just need to get through the rest of this evening...


  1. I get those day's as well I don't know what brings them on but they come and go I can relate. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone... although I have no positive way around it

  2. Hey..reading your post makes me feel assured..i m not alone.This weird feeling is a universal thing...cheers
    P.S-love all your posts

  3. It's good to know there are others out there who understand. Thanks for reading! :)