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I like to think of myself as the 'crazy mom of four'. I'm 31 years old and I love my life, my kids, my husband and my God. "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Eliot

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

It's 2am...

...and I can't sleep. The last few nights have been the same. An hour or two struggle, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. It's pretty sad that even despite sheer exhaustion I cannot fall asleep. I was so excited too because for the last couple of months, I haven't had as many problems falling asleep. And the same old annoyance is creeping its way back into my life. It's very frustrating.

On a lighter note...I don't believe in coincidences. I know I have shared that before, but it's time to reitertate that. There are no coincidences. Sometimes things happen, and if you are observant enough, if you have learned even just a little, you will realize that it is God's hand at work. I mentioned on Saturday I think it was, maybe Sunday, about wanting to send the kids back to private school. It hasn't been something that has pressed upon me this entire school year. It just suddenly hit me on Saturday. The desire was so overwhelming I was almost in tears over it. Granted, I was mainly in tears all day Saturday, so perhaps the emotion I felt wasn't totally directed here but still...

So, I went to a basketball game at Grace Christian Academy, where the kids used to attend and where my mother-in-law still teaches, and coaches third grade girl's basketball. It was during this game that I told Kris I just really wanted the kids to go back to Grace. Now, mind you, I have never cared one way or the other where they go. Don't get me wrong. I loved having them in KCA, and then Grace. But if they had to go to public school I was ok with that. In the back of my mind, if we had the means to send them to private school, well there is no reason not to. But overall, I was fine with whatever we decided. So it was a bit unusual for me to feel so strongly about this particular issue.

After the basketball game, I took Katherine and Kaleb with me to lunch. While there, we ran into a family that goes to Grace. I had chatted briefly with the parents before. So they invited me to sit at their table with them, while the kids (mine and theirs) sat at their own tables. And they asked me how everything was going and where the kids went to school. And I proceeded to pour my heart out about how I really wanted them to go back to private school, and how we just didn't see a way to do it with four kids. They asked whether or not Cindy got any kind of discount because she is a grandparent. I told them I wasn't sure-I thought she got a small amount of assistance last year but I wasn't sure, as she had been the one paying their tuition. I went on to explain that had she not paid for them to go to Grace last year, we would have put them in public school then.

This is where the 'coincidences' come in. On Sunday Cindy came over to the house and said something about me making a good impression with a board member. I had no clue what she was talking about. And rather than drag this story out even further, I will just say now that the father of this family I had lunch with on Saturday is on the board at Grace. So I sat there, being myself, sharing my heart with these people I barely knew, completely unaware that this man was on the board at Grace! He proceeded on Monday to talk to Cindy about where things stood as far as discounts, things like that. I don't know what (if anything) will happen. But I am not so ignorant that I do not see God's hand at work. If nothing else, it was a reminder to me to look for God in those 'small' things. And it was refreshing to have that reminder! I feel like God is doing more though than just reminding me. So it will be interesting to see how the next year unfolds.

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