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I like to think of myself as the 'crazy mom of four'. I'm 31 years old and I love my life, my kids, my husband and my God. "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Eliot

Friday, September 5, 2008

Cops and Robbers. Fairies and Indians. Same difference.

Today was an absolutely CRAZY (there's my favorite word again...) day at work. I worked on the same problem claim for over 2 hours today (more mentally). It was really draining (I've decided to put lots of things in parentheses today apparently!).
And then I stepped outside. Oh the weather! Perhaps it was a little dreary. Perhaps it was wet and rainy. Perhaps most people would have rather been inside. But something about the weather today lifted my heart. I thought it was just the PERFECT temperature. I'm not sure it really got much above 70 degrees today and the fact that there was a nice breeze and the sun was nowhere in sight made me long for FALL! It was like a fall day today and I could feel the difference. I could feel the weight of the last several weeks lift from me. I felt so strange...so...good! It's a rare feeling.

I was eager to DO something today. This is a good thing. If you know nothing about depression, know that those caught in the claws of it find it extremely difficult to do normal everyday things. Getting out of bed is difficult. Taking a shower is difficult. Cooking is difficult. 'Dealing' with anything at all is difficult. Living life in general is just extremely difficult. Lately I've struggled to do anything I normally do. Grocery shopping for example. I hadn't gone to the grocery store in oh, maybe 5 weeks. I used to go every week to two weeks. We were down to ice and a couple of frozen corn dogs. It was pretty bad. We had been eating out a lot. The other day though Kris and I took all the kids and finally got groceries! I suggested to Kris that we get a lot of 'easy' meals because I didn't want to spend our money on hamburger and chicken and things like that that only I knew how to cook, on the off chance that I didn't 'feel' like cooking. So we bought a lot of frozen things, lunchables for the kids, pizzas. It's pathetic I know-but it's the reality of where I am at right now. Kris has had to shoulder quite a bit lately.

Where was I going with all that? Oh yeah...the beautiful (to me anyway) fall weather we had this afternoon. Because I actually felt like doing something, I decided to take advantage of that and when the older kids got home from school we loaded up and drove to Dollar Tree. This wasn't in the original plans-the original plan was to go get a Redbox movie (I had a free coupon) for family movie night, which we try to do on a weekly basis. Kaleb still had $10 birthday money and he wanted to take that with him, so I decided I felt up to taking my kids to Dollar Tree. Kaleb said everyone could spend $2. The boy is SO possessive of his 'stuff' including money, but he is SO generous at the same time.

Here's my theory with Dollar Tree. Well it's probably not technically a theory or anything but who cares. This is my blog and I'll call it whatever I want! ;-) Kris and I decided a couple of years ago it was pointless to waste our money on expensive toys that will just get broken, lost, or remain 'unplayed' with. We decided to start doing the majority of our Christmas and birthday shopping at Dollar Tree. The kids are young enough that they still really LOVE the toys from Dollar Tree and we will get away with it for as long as they will let us!
So the kids all found themselves some 'treasures' at Dollar Tree today and I have pictures below of my beautiful fairies and my little Indian. After Dollar Tree I took the kids to Sonic for a little snack and slushes, then we headed to get the movie from Redbox. When we got home we actually cleaned up the living room, which has also been extremely difficult for me lately. But I propped my front door open (don't ask-it needs replaced) so the breeze could come in and we set to work. It was the first 'real' work I've done around the house in WAY TOO LONG! Kris loaded the dishwasher for me when he got home and I even managed to bake some cookies. Baking is a cook sign in the change in my moods! I think Kris was pleased with the 'new' me (or perhaps it is truly the 'real' me), however short-lived it may be. I know the kids benefited and saw a difference! It felt good to enjoy them today. We watched "Nim's Island" for movie night, which turned out to be a fairly enjoyable movie. Then the kids went to bed and here I am. I primarily wanted to put the pictures of my adorable kids on here-but felt you needed an extremely long explanation for the pictures. Most things are cheap and break easily from Dollar Tree but if you need some GREAT fairy wings, I suggest $1 at Dollar Tree! Every little girl will LOVE them and they are actually quite impressive on the quality!

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