I'm still here

I'm alive and well, in case you were concerned. After reading a comment just now from my previous post, I realized that I hadn't posted since my despondent rambling of early last week so I thought I would check in and let my faithful readers know that all is well with me. That hopeless feeling did indeed pass, as I knew it would.

Life has not slowed down though. In fact, it seems to speed up more and more each day. A coworker and I have switched jobs. I can't remember if I wrote about this already and so if it is a repeat, I apologize. While I am feeling better emotionally, I don't have enough mental energy right now to open up a new Google tab and read through old posts to find out (i.e. I'm lazy).

Until last week, I was driving to Fenton every day. On a good day, it took me right around 30 minutes to get there. On a bad day...well...fortunately there weren't too many of those!! Regardless, it gave me plenty of time to read. Those of you that know me, know that I listen to books while I drive. I'm telling you, I was against it at first. Kris finally won me over to listening to books when life started to speed up. I love to read and didn't seem to have any time anymore to read. So now when I am working out or driving or cleaning, I can just pop the headphones in and 'read'. It's a great way to pass the time.

I was the 'onsite liaison' for one of our clients, so I had a desk and worked right there with some great adjusters, assisting on files, making sure the people we hired did their job, etc. My coworker was in our actual office, dispatching claims, which is a fancy term for logging contact and accident info into our system and finding a local appraiser to investigate, take pictures, statements and so on. Extremely exciting insurance-related stuff. In addition to our primary roles, we also each have several other tasks that we are responsible for. I've been onsite at Vanliner for over two years now I believe. Maybe it's only been over one. I can't remember. It's been quite a while though. And I really enjoy being there. But I was getting extremely burnt out. And I didn't even realize how bad it was until last week, when we switched places.

Between last week and this one, I have been about 110% MORE productive. And I realized why tonight. Change is sometimes very good. Change is hard for some people, and while this change has called for quite a bit of adjusting, overall I am happy with it. I love my job again. And that is a great feeling. I still haven't really been able to fully jump into my role in our actual office, interacting with my other coworkers, all six of them. I've gone to a much smaller office too which is odd but I have barely been there. The girl I switched with was sick this week and so I filled in for her on Monday and Tuesday at our client's office. She was scheduled to be out today through Monday too, so I am back down in Fenton until Tuesday. While I was only gone a week, I have missed my adjusters down there. It's been good to be back among them, though I do look forward to getting into the swing of things downtown once Tara gets back. Ultimately, it feels good to change things up and have a different role now. It has energized me really.

Perhaps one of the greatest pluses for me is now when one of the kids is sick or they have a snow day, or one of their many random days off for no apparent reason, I can actually work from home. I am not required anymore to be onsite with our client each day, so I feel less pressure if someone is sick. It's hard for me to be productive from home, but it can be done, even with the four Little Bishops running around. And if Tara is sick or needs to be out, I can fill in for her down in Fenton. I don't know about her, but so far I am enjoying the change, and it feels good to give 100% again. I was getting so tired of the same thing every day and when you are weighed down, it is really hard to give everything you've got. So admittedly, I was not giving everything like I had in the past. It was a slow progression that left me to wanting to play on Facebook all day (not that I did!) instead of focusing on what needed to be done. And I HATE feeling like I could do more, or I could give more, but just not having the energy to do it.

On a different note, we had to sock almost another $1000 into Clifford the Big Red Van. I'm so tired of that van! Besides the fact that it hates me and won't blow out heat whenever I ride in it, I just feel like we are always putting money into it. This time the fuel pump went out. Kris and I weighed out our options. We didn't really have any. We NEED a van. We can't realistically (or legally) fit into my Explorer. And we can't afford a used van right now, which means we certainly can't afford a car payment. But we talked today about actually sticking to our budget and how if we do that, we would actually be able to save a decent chuck of money in a short period of time. So hopefully what we just did to the van will last us until we can sell it or trade it in for a newer used van. Preferably one that has a heater that works.

Lastly for tonight, I went back to the Y this evening. I haven't been in a couple of weeks. Kris and I commute to work now, since we go to the same place. We're saving on gas, though that money is now being spent to keep the kids in extended care so that we can work a full day. But that has left me unable to get up early and go to the Y on my way to work, or stop by on the way home. Abbey has speech therapy on Mondays and Wednesdays at 5:30 now so we are really limited. And if there is anything we try to be consistent about, it is the kids' 7:00pm bedtime! Trust me...I don't care hold old they are getting. They still need that sleep! We get up at 6am every day now (well the kids do while we usually drag ourselves up by 6:20) and if they go to bed late, like they did tonight because Kris and Kaleb's Tae Kwon Do doesn't get out until 8pm, they are cranky!! Or the ones that aren't cranky burst into tears at random intervals throughout the day. Anyway...with therapy and working different hours but riding together, it is harder to get to the Y now. We're shooting for Tues/Thurs/Sat though and hopefully we can stick to that schedule. A little tip about stationary bikes. If the heart rate sensors aren't working, it's probably not a good idea to pick a random workout that adjusts the resistance based on your heart rate. At the end there, with the sensor being temperamental, it took me from a resistance of 6 up to 12. And let me just tell you that was NOT easy. My knee seemed to tolerate it ok. It was puffy and red when I finished but by the time I got out of the shower it looked and felt better. And overall, it just felt good to work out again.

Ok that is enough for tonight. I'd better stop now...are you still awake???

I hate feeling this way

From time to time, I just feel 'hopeless'. It's not as dramatic as it sounds. But I have these days where I feel 'down' about everything. Everything looks bleak. I feel sad. I'm on the verge of tears. Even when things in my life are going well. There are just these days. Fortunately I am learning that they don't last and it must just be some crazy female hormone imbalance, but when those days hit it's like being run over by a truck. At least emotionally...

Over the years I have tried to explain to Kris that sometimes women cry and...I know this is hard to wrap your head around...we don't always know the reason why. We've experienced this with Katherine (age 9) many, many times. It happens with Abbey and from Kaleb every now and again. Last night I watched this happen to Olivia. And sadly for my girls, it won't get better as they get older. There will still be moments and days that they find themselves 'emotional' for no good reason. It happens to me when I am really tired, whether that be physically or emotionally. When I am tired, that is when I struggle the most to reign in my emotions!

Today is one of those days. Not with the crying so much. Just the sad feeling, and feeling like nothing matters. Nothing I do, nothing I eat...who cares about any of it? Because I certainly don't. For today...

I'm thankful to God that those times don't last. But I really don't like them when they come. It's that longing to curl up in a little ball and hide from the world. To just zone out, tune out, and just not care about anything. That's where I am at today. I am confident that I will not feel this way tomorrow though so I just need to get through the rest of this evening...

Did I mention I like word games?

Today is obviously Valentine's Day...

Kris and I were fortunate enough to have sitters in place so we could get away Friday and Saturday night. We had a great time away. We met up at church today and then took the kids to Target and let them pick out a little $5 present. Then we ordered Chinese and came home and watched G-Force and one of the Tinkerbell movies. When all of that was over, we got the snack foods out and played a new game we picked up at Target. Scrabble Slam. I am a lover of all things Scrabble so of course this game piqued my interest!

We made up some rules for the first round of this game...that way it would be easy enough for the kids to play. The real object is to start with a four letter word (not the bad kind!) and then deal out the rest of the cards. Then it's like Speed and the first person to get rid of their cards wins! You all play at the same time, shedding cards by making words. After Kaleb and Abbey got bored with it, I told Kris he had to play with me the right way. Katherine hung around and wanted to give it a try too. So we let her.

The first game she plays with us we're down to the wire. I have 2 or 3 cards left and she has one. Kris doesn't really count in here since he had about 12 cards left! :) So we're sitting there looking at loom or something like that. I've got a card with a z and k on it and there was no way I could play on it. I had to just wait until an opportunity opened up. Kat is sitting over there staring at it, then all of a sudden she throws down her last card, which has an A on it. And she yells 'LOAM!' Kris and I are like "Loam is NOT a word!" And she keeps insisting then goes on to tell us that it's in her science book and has something to do with soil and plants. So of course, Kris goes to the computer to Google it! And sure enough, LOAM is "soil composed of sand, silt, and clay in relatively even concentration, considered ideal for gardening and agricultural purposes." I haven't seen Katherine that proud and excited in a while. It was awesome to see her proving us right! I never liked science!!!!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

As I mentioned earlier, Abbey stayed home from school today. She loves to play Farmville. But today for some reason, it was glitching. She kept adding things to her farm and making it just the way she wanted it. Then she would refresh the screen and everything had disappeared. After this happened about 5 times, Abbey said the funniest thing today:

"Why does it keep doing that? It's like it says 'Oh let's get rid of everything and give her back her money so she gets frustrated!'"

And the dancing around singing 'Thumbelina!' was pretty funny too. Though I told her that sick people shouldn't be dancing and made her sit down!

Abbey was WAAAY to excited...

I am blessed in so many ways. What I am thankful for this morning is the fact that Abbey usually doesn't get sick. Out of the four kids, Abbey gets sick the least often. Because of this, she always has to watch the others get little beds made up in the living room when they're sick. Many times she tells us she doesn't feel good, but I am pretty sure she just wants the kind of attention the others get because she doesn't act sick. Today however, Abbey finally got what she wanted. She came into my room this morning and said she didn't feel good. All of the kids have been fighting colds and so instead of just writing Abbey off, I felt her head and she felt hot all over. So, Abbey has a fever and I told her that she should go lay back in her bed until the others left. She happily pranced back to her room to lay down. Then she came back into the room asking if I would make her a bed in the living room. I told her after the others left. Then she kept going back and forth between my room and hers asking questions! She was really excited to finally have an opportunity to be sick and stay home.

Livvy's take on Indians

We're watching "Virginia's Run" for movie night tonight. Kris is immediately bored and so he and I are cracking jokes about the movie...this is how we suffer through *some* of these 1 1/2-2 hour movies with the kids (most of the time we enjoy them but there are some that just aren't quite right).

So there was this scene where a dark-haired woman gets out of the car and they played some music that sounded like the kind of music they play in a movie where there are Native Americans. And so we were joking around about her being an Indian-even though she clearly is not. And one of the kids said 'She's not an Indian.' And then Livvy said 'Yeah because Indians don't even have cars!'

A few minutes later, they showed a scene with this very white and very BLONDE woman riding a horse and they started playing that Native American music again so Kaleb yelled out 'Hey her mom is an Indian!'

I don't recommend this movie. 15 minutes in and I wish we could watch Spongebob! I shouldn't even be sitting here with my laptop on during movie night...but the movie is *that* bad!!

A visit from the Tooth Fairy

I really wish I had taken a picture to post on here of Abbey with her first missing tooth. Sadly, I did not. But wanted to 'write' this down before I forget it.

Last night Kaleb and Kris went to Tae Kwon Do. I kept the girls all home with me so that I could put them to bed at a decent time (7pm around our house!); we've had too many late nights the last couple of weeks and they NEEDED to sleep. I contemplated keeping Kaleb home too but since we are paying for the class, he really should be there.

As I was putting the girls in bed and turning all the lights out, I told them that I didn't want to hear any talking or playing or want anyone getting out of bed...the normal bedtime speech. I had forgotten Abbey even had her first loose tooth until she said 'Maybe if I do that [she meant get up] you can pull my tooth out as a punishment.' She's funny. And as if that wasn't funny enough...

I went into the kitchen and started cleaning up so that I could make myself dinner. About 5 minutes later, Abbey walks into the kitchen. She has her little hand outstretched and said 'I went into the bathroom and pulled it out myself.' She stood there proudly holding her tiny little tooth (which of course grosses me out because I hate teeth!). So she's standing there with this huge grin on her face-oblivious to the blood that was pooling in her mouth. I put the tooth in a ziploc bag and told her to go rinse her mouth out. She came back into the kitchen, I gave her the bag and sent her back to bed, telling her to put it under her pillow.

And then she would not go to sleep! I don't know if she was just excited because she knew the Tooth Fairy would come (or in our case IF the Tooth Fairy remembers to come!), or if she just couldn't shut her brain down...which happens many, many nights. Kris and Kaleb get home just before 9pm and I am pretty sure that at this point Abbey is still awake.

Finally, she fell asleep. And fortunately, the Tooth Fairy remembered to come to our house. Abbey came into our room this morning to show Kris where her tooth had been. Kris, not wanting to get up yet, was like 'yeah...' even though he didn't have his glasses on and couldn't possibly see it! So I told her to turn the light on and him to get his glasses on. He did, reluctantly...

And then I asked Abbey if the Tooth Fairy had come. And she said "Yeah, she gave me a dollar!" Then she proceeded to tell us that she actually woke up at 3:30am and felt under her pillow. These are close to her exact words: "I reached under there and my tooth was gone but there wasn't any money. But then I reached WAY BACK and found a dollar! And then I went back to sleep."

A belated birthday present

I feel like I've been celebrating my birthday all week. Monday night (since I wasn't eating 'right' to begin with) we had Chinese. It was wonderful. Every last sickening sugar and gluten filled bite! Tuesday was my birthday and my day off went exactly as planned, except for one minor glitch which I managed to get over fairly quickly. I slept until 11am and it felt great! Then I did some boring things...working out at the Y (not boring for me), grocery store, picked the kids up from school. Kris came home early. We ordered St. Louis Pizza and Wings (as I was still making poor choices) and watched LOST with my mother-in-law. All in all, it was a good day. Oh...yeah...back to the belated present. Kris told me I could order some things from Avon. Well, actually I told HIM I wanted to place an Avon order for my birthday...and he said I could and gave me my 'limit'. So I ordered a few things and got them in the mail today. I love companies like Avon, BeautiControl (though I can't afford it anymore), Tastefully Simple (though I can't have this anymore), and of course the best ever Pampered Chef! In fact, towards the end of my 'active' Pampered Chef days, all of my commission was either going to buy more Pampered Chef or Avon. It's been a long time since I was able to get something 'fun' from Avon. Anyway...so it arrived in the mail today! I know this is incredibly boring and no one cares, but I don't care that no one cares. I was giddy with excitement. I love getting new stuff!! My favorite was a new perfume. I'm always hesitant to buy perfumes without smelling them first, but I felt the catalog gave a fairly good description of this particular one...and it was only $10...I was thrilled to get it and find out I LOVE it! I also got some makeup and a necklace and earrings that I'm pretty excited about, which is odd considering I don't typically wear jewelry. But I always see these cute things and think, 'maybe I'll start wearing makeup and jewelry'. And then I get through a couple of days of that and decide I just don't have time for it.

While I didn't go to the Y tonight, I sure did get quite the workout at physical therapy tonight. 12 minutes on the treadmill. Leg press, scooting around like a fool on a chair, leg lifts, bike. Then there was the trampoline. No, I didn't have to jump on it. I had to stand on one leg (my bad leg) and throw a two pound ball at an upright trampoline and then catch it...all while trying to balance on my one leg. I assured the therapist that I would be unable to do this even without a bad leg. I insisted that he just wanted to have something to laugh at. Today, because I did better than last week, he made me stand on this foam square and do the stupid activity. I told him that I was NOT a circus act. He just laughed.

Happy Birthday to....ME!

This is random and has nothing really to do with my birthday, but Livvy just said something I thought was really funny: "I hate three minutes because it takes so long. Why do Daddy always have to do that?"

I've had a great day. Kris got the kids up and ready for school, then took them to school this morning. I vaguely remember them coming in my room about a million times before they left but then I went back to sleep and didn't get up until 11am! I don't know when the last time was that I slept that long! It felt wonderful.

The house was messy and since I didn't feel like cleaning (it is my birthday after all and who wants to work on their birthday?), I got my bag together and went to the Y. I've been sticking to the recumbent bike while my knee continues to heal and get stronger but I get so bored with the bike. I don't burn as many calories and when I'm done with 30 minutes, I feel like I should do something more. While the elliptical and I are known for hating one another, I am ready to get back to it. Today I rode for just 15 minutes on the bike and because my knee was feeling pretty good, I thought I'd give the elliptical a try. I managed 5 minutes with no pain and burned the same amount of calories as I did with 15 minutes on the bike. So tomorrow (assuming I actually get up at 5:30 and go to the Y before work) I am going to start with the elliptical. Besides that, the physical therapist showed me this exercise I can do when my knee feels 'out of place' to get it back in place and I'm really happy that it actually works. There is now very little limping. My scars are getting softer and smaller as I rub them constantly with lotion at the P.T. recommended.

Boring stuff aside, I wanted to share some pictures of the birthday card Katherine (my 9 year old) gave me. She's a great little artist and very thoughtful in all she does. And if there is one thing that girl knows, she knows her mother! She's so funny and her card was the best part of my day. See below:

This is the 'front' of the card. She got a kick out of the fact that I share my birthday with Punxsutawney Phil. I like the drawing of an eye in the middle of the heart to say 'I love you.' Oh and that is, I believe, a groundhog saying 'Happy Birthday Mommy!'

I thought this next part was really cute too! Because I loved her design for the spring carnival t-shirt, she decided to include a replication of it on my birthday card!

But I saved my favorite part for last. Katherine decided to make me an acrostic. She used the word 'MOMMY'. Oh and she just had to do a pop-up book report, so she has a pop-up groundhog in the middle of the card. What really just melted my heart was her descriptions of me. I have to cherish this now because in 5 years, who knows if she will still see me in the same light.

I know you can't really see the acrostic so I am going to write it below. Again, my all-time favorite moment of the day was reading this:

Master of grammar and spelling. c-a-t

One of the best cooks ever.

Mommy always cares for me.

Maybe I'll grow up to be like you some day.

Your the best Mom ever!!

I didn't point out to her that it technically, grammatically should have been "you're" instead of "your".

Katherine the Designer

The last thing I was to share (though in the order these posts it will appear to be the first) is something that makes Kris and me extremely proud. Katherine is good at most things she sets her hands to. She's intelligent...very. When I see her do or hear her say things that are well beyond her years, I am both amazed and proud of her. Additional to the successes she experiences academically, that girl loves art. Loves it. She always has and I think that she always will.

There is a spring carnival coming up in April and some of the classes drew pictures for what they thought the T-shirts should look like. Katherine entered her submission, which is below. The first tow pictures are the bulletin board where all of the submissions were hanging. There were 10 suggestions.

Abbey actually submitted an entry as well for the T-shirt design contest. In looking at her design (oh the 'theme' is Growing with Grace). See below:

I had seen Katherinen's design too and really liked it. I was really impressed too. I don't know how many submissions there were but I know that more than 1 or 2 classes submitted designs. I just really loved Kat's, especially after she explained to me why she chose to put certain items in her design. I wanted hers to win...I really did. And it wasn't just because she's my daughter. It's because I looked at her design and thought "That would be a great t-shirt-I really want hers to win!"

Yesterday when I went to pick the kids up, I noticed something in the hallway. The teachers had finally reviewed all of the submissions. Check out Kat's design submission:

FIRST PLACE! My girl got first place!!! How cool is that?!? I feel the need to explain things though I would assume most of it is self-explanatory. First, she's got the school in the middle with a banner that reads "GCA Spring Carnival". Although, due to size/text issues, the banner will just have to say GCA so it will print well. Beyond that, she didn't accidentally write "Grace" in cursive. I really thin that was just part of how she wanted it to be read. Below that, we've got the actual words Spring Carnival. The p and g in Spring are made of flowers. In Carnival, the a's are made to look like balloons. And if that wasn't creative enough, she explained to me that the flowers are there and growing in different sizes to go along with the theme of "Growing With Grace." I love my budding little artist and the thought she puts into everything that she does. So, if anyone would like to support GCA (Grace Christian Academy) or support Katherine to show her how proud you are, please let me know. We are going to buy extras for our parents but if anyone else wants to wear something my daughter designed, I know she would be really happy. :)

Katherine the SOTM

What is SOTM you ask? It's my own little abbreviation for Student of the Month. From what I can tell they pick a few different students each month. What I really loved and appreciated are the kind words that Katherine's teacher had to say about her. She echoed what most people who know Katherine already knows about that wonder, intelligent, and kind 9 year old. See what her teacher had to say about her. I'm very proud and blessed to have this brilliant little girl in my family. I see so much of her father in her.

Abbey the Dreamer

You know, it is really amazing to watch your children grow and learn. It's fun and exciting and while it is extremely difficult at times to handle the chaos that is four kids, I wouldn't have it any other way. What makes it all worth it are those moments where one of the kids say or do something that you just find adorable. Abbey is always bringing a smile to my face. Her personality and demeanor and just everything about her makes the world a happier place. And so when I read her 'I Have a Dream' "speech" it didn't surprise me that I found myself chuckling and just so freakin' proud to be her mother. Check it out! Abbey loves herself (God and herself she love the most, and then it's Uncle Brandon) and she has all these dreams and ideas and well, she's just Abbey. She's my Abbey Rose and not a day goes by that I don't just look at her and thank God that she is a part of our family. No one can make you laugh or smile quite like that girl. Here is her speech:

"I have a dream that everyone will eat ice cream and a oranges and a apple and play jumprope and play with a kite and name their baby Rose."

Katherine the Creative

A few weeks ago, Katherine handed me the following piece of paper. It wasn't a 'hey mom can we do this?'. It was more like 'We're doing this.' I mean this girl had the date picked out, the activities, everything! She was longing it seems for some real quality family time. Check out her flyer. I especially love the Wii Remote and Nunchuck on the top right.

Below on the left, the date. Which happened to be today.

As you can see in the top left corner, there are 6 heads...four girls and two boys...just like us. There are Uno cards in the middle of the paper, and according to the moon, this family time must take place at night.

And so as to not exclude anyone, all ages are allowed. I really loved the 'much, much more' at the end of her activity list!

So did we have Family Game Night tonight, on January 30th? Why yes we did! It was really fun. I figured that as long as we were having a little 'party' we'd really make it a big deal. So, we made meatballs, a couple of dips, cut up some oranges. It was really great! While we were eating, we played Disney Scene It DVD game. We had three teams. Me and Livvy. Kris and Abbey. Kat and Kaleb. Apparently Kris and I are HORRIBLE at that game. Kat and Kaleb won. But it was really a lot of fun.

After that, we moved into the dining room for dessert: Mike & Ikes and E.L. Fudge cookies. Then we played some Uno Attack. That game freaks me out! It's not as fast-paced and scary as Uno Flash (that one requires medication before I can play it), but it's still a little scary when it spits those cards out at you. And our game has only been placed two or three times and the cards are slick, so instead of it only spitting out 5-7 cards, it spits out 12-25! And of course Kat one that game too. Somehow I think she might have rigged this entire night! :)

Overall, it was a really fun night. We spent some great quality time together and I had a great time! I love this family that God has blessed me with.

From the mouth of babes

I have a lot of different things to write about and hopefully the fact that I have taken some meds to help me sleep tonight won't 'slur my words' too much so to speak. I'm going to do these as shorter posts, because I think they each deserve their own 'spot'.

First, here is a video of Olivia saying her memory verse. There's nothing much that melts the heart more than something like this!

Little mathmeticians

I hate math. It is well known among my family that I hate math, and among anyone else who knows me that I am not very good at it. I have always struggled with math and at the age of almost 31, I think it will forever be a thorn in my side. SO glad they built calculators into cell phones! Anyway...

Katherine and Kaleb love math. Abbey, while I do not know if she loves it, has picked it up quite well and doesn't seem to have a distaste for it like I do. Actually I just asked Abbey if she liked math and she said 'Yeah'. Kris of course loves math. It's science and common sense that really trip him up! Just kidding about the common sense part...sort of. ;-)

Tonight was a sad night for me. Olivia has joined the dark side of math lovers. She was eating dinner tonight (chicken nuggets in case you were dying to know), and she started the following conversation with me:

Livvy: Zero means nothing right?

Me: Yes (insert disapproving look here as I see where this is headed)

Livvy: So when I finish this chicken nugget I will have zero left, right?

Me. Yes (insert defeated look here)

She's four and already grasping so easily the concepts that she needs to become a math lover like the others. It's like all 5 of them are in some sort of secret club that I am not privileged enough to be part--not that I'd WANT to be in a math club if I had the ability. I would not. A (my family loves math) + B (I hate math) = C (my family hates me). ;-) See how bad I am at math??

Deleting comments...

I'm really irritated that I can't delete what I believe is a spam comment from two posts ago. I didn't have the comment moderation turned on (though I do now!) and I read all the different ways to try to delete the comment and it won't work. I've cleared the cache. I've refreshed over and over again. I've tried doing the same thing in a different browser. And yet it is still there. It's one of those things (one of those obsessive-compulsive things) that really get to me. Short of deleting the post and then reposting it, I am not sure how to get rid of the comment. Grr...

Move Your Money - Eugene Jarecki | January 11, 2010 - Morgan Freeman | ColbertNation.com

I just had to share this. I love Stephen Colbert. We just finished watching this episode and I loved Colbert's video...you have to go about a minute and 40 seconds in to get to the really funny part.

Move Your Money - Eugene Jarecki | January 11, 2010 - Morgan Freeman | ColbertNation.com

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

I'm multi-tasking tonight. Talking to Kris while he feeds himself...with food that I already cooked but he missed out on while it was hot due to a meeting; watching Smallville (which doesn't really count as a task because it's become a horrible and boring show-though I should add that so far the finale of season 4 isn't bad after the entire fourth season sucked!); working; blogging; checking up on Facebook. Bottom line-I'm FINALLY feeling better, which is how I can get back to multi-tasking. I can't even begin to describe how good that feels!

I love to read and I love to write and so this blog has been a great outlet for me. I have to make more time for it. I've really been enjoying writing on my 'Living Yeast Free' blog (http://myyeastfreejourney.blogspot.com/), primarily because I've actually been able to stand up and move around and be active again! It feels great. I'm still having some pain and weakness in my right knee, but overall I am feeling a lot better. And now that I've had surgery, my left knee (the 'good' one) is the only one that cracks and pops when I bend down or take the stairs. It's a bit ironic...the physical therapist was commenting on my knee popping when I was doing squats the other day and I had to explain to him that it wasn't my 'surgery knee'. Oh and by the way...I am not 100% sure everything that man physical therapist does is all that therapeutic. Sometimes when he's trying to get me to straighten on my side, while laying down, his hands seem to go places I am not sure they should be going. Sometimes I just wanna say "Look buddy! I'm married!" Not to mention the fact that I'm not a fan of the whole physical contact thing--kinda makes physical therapy a bit complicated now doesn't it?

I guess it's time that I get back to that whole working thing that is on my list of tasks to 'multi'.

Someone save me from Heroes!

This show is really starting to aggravate me. Well, to be honest, it has bothered me all season. The last couple of seasons really. It started out so good. What happened? Why did they have to bring this whole circus group in? Why does Sylar die only to come back to life each season? Can't we just be done with him for good? Especially if we're going to have horrible new characters like the creepy T-bag guy from Prison Break. I think this show should have just ended after season 1, or 2, or 3...

I'm so glad it's the weekend. My parents may or may not be coming in to celebrate Christmas in the morning. I hope that they are able to make the drive out here but if not, we will head out there next week or the week after. I was trying to hide it from the kids but *someone* (Kris) kept accidentally saying things and then just flat out said something about my mom getting here and the kids were like "Mammaw's coming?" So...I had to settle them down and tell them that it might not happen. I won't know until tomorrow. I think that if they do come, in honor of celebrating Christmas, I will wear my Christmas sweater one more time before putting it away until next year. Because I love Christmas sweaters. ;-)

I did it!

I rode the bike tonight at the Y. For 20 minutes. I was pretty impressed with myself. My knee was aching pretty bad after 20 minutes (just at level 1 resistance) so I stopped instead of pushing myself to get to 30 minutes.

Why is Freddie Prinze Jr. on 24? Who thought that would be a good idea? I mean, he's nice to look at and all but was 24 suffering so badly that they thought that Freddie would be the best addition? Who thinks he'll be dead before the 12th hour?

Why?? I'm not sure how I feel about this...

Riding a bike

Writing two days in a row-it's like the 'old' me!

I went back to physical therapy tonight. It was much less intense, as far as my crying goes, :) but the therapist didn't go easy on me. I guess they're not paid to let you be lazy and immobile! I had to do these steps up and down off of a small box (it frightened me to see three other boxes that were higher than the one I was using, as I am sure the therapist will find a way to implement the larger ones). My calf was killing me and I said as much to my therapist when I said 'My calf is going to hurt tomorrow!' He replied with 'Your whole leg is going to be hurting tomorrow!' Can't wait...

What was really great about therapy tonight is he started me on the stationary bike. I am not sure how long I rode it, maybe only 5 minutes; 10 max. BUT...I RODE THE BIKE!! And it didn't hurt. Do you know what this means??? This means that I can go back to the Y and tolerate it for longer than a couple of minutes! I think I could easily do 30 minutes right now, with no resistance of course! I'll have to work up to that part. 3 short weeks after surgery (5 weeks after injury) I can get back to working out! Get some use out of those monthly fees.

I saw a man at therapy tonight that reminded me of how blessed I was. Not that he wasn't blessed-I don't mean to infer that. It's just that sometimes we don't realize how good we have it until we are reminded of what some people have to suffer through. This man was missing his left leg and he was going through therapy-learning to walk again with a prosthesis. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine the kind of strength it takes to get through something like that and come out on top, having overcome? Overhearing some of his conversation with his therapist, this man was confident and willing to do whatever it took to learn to walk again. I was in awe listening to and watching him and it just really got me thinking about life and loss and learning to live again. I recently reconnected with a friend who lost an arm not too long ago and going through therapy for my piddly little knee problem, I couldn't help but sit through therapy and think that what I am enduring is NOTHING compared to what this person had to go through; physically, mentally, emotionally...I am amazed by that kind of strength. In awe, really. We see people around us suffer and lose loved ones or battle cancer and think 'I could never, EVER handle something like that'. But what I am learning is that if put in that position, I would do whatever I had to do to survive-it would be instinct. Sure I'd have days I'm sure (more than I'd like) where I wouldn't know how to get out of bed, but I think that when we face those horribly dark times in life, there has to be something that kicks in (even if not right away) that makes us move on and learn how to adapt to life without a person, or a limb, etc...I know for me it would have to be faith in the God I love and HE would be the one to help me get out of bed each morning.

Sometimes I never know where this writing will lead. I guess that this is what was on my mind tonight...

God why did you create us this way?

I've been struggling with so many different emotions today, most of them not happy. In fact, I've been on the verge of tears most of the evening. The frustrations of being unable to function at 100% after my knee surgery are definitely a factor. It seems like I start to make strides in progress and gain more strength only to have a set back. Tonight while unloading groceries, I tripped on something and twisted my knee and it immediately sent pain through my whole leg and started swelling. So I'm down for the count for the evening. I took some vicodin which I had managed to do without for 4 days and am finally feeling some relief.

I thought I was going to have a meltdown in the grocery store. Not only is it still difficult for me to buy food in a cost efficient manner that is 'safe' for me to eat, but now Olivia's soy bean oil allergy seems to be getting more severe which has left me no alternative but to completely cut soy bean/soy bean oil out of her diet. Do you know how many foods have soy bean oil in them???? And I thought it was hard to find food without corn syrup and sugar and vinegar! But soy bean oil? Much more dominant in the processed foods. I did find some Matzo crackers today that I believe I can break up and put some almond butter on for her and I had her taste the crackers and she liked them so at least now I can make some semblance of a sandwich for her school lunches. That is what is so hard...finding things that she can take to school so that she doesn't have to heat it up. It was a very depressing night at the grocery store tonight. It's one thing to learn how to cook yeast-free for myself, but it is even more difficult to think about how and what to cook for Olivia. I'd really love to get my whole family away from the yeast/sugar/gluten and I think with a lot of work and practice in kitchen I can get at least all of the kids there. Kris on the other hand...well...he may be quite a bit more resistant. Though, fortunately for him, MEAT is safe and he is definitely a meat and potatoes kind of guy.

It's just been a 'down' kind of day. I know that when I wake up in the morning I will feel better. This happens from time to time and it always gets better.

I go back to physical therapy tomorrow for my knee. I went last Tuesday and it was a very grueling hour! But I have done my exercises faithfully for a week and will continue to. I am walking better, though I still think most of the time there is a noticeable limp. It will just continue to improve with physical therapy. I just hope that tomorrow I don't cry the whole time like I did last week!

I have been having a lot of fun lately reading some blogs, primarily thanks to the help of Google Reader. I've mentioned before that I am a Google lover. Yesterday I discovered Google reader and it is awesome! Now all the blogs I find with gluten-free or sugar-free recipes are all in one place instead of spread out as bookmarks on three different computers. Better still, I get a notification when there is a new post right in my Google Chrome browser. Additionally, if I am surfing for a specific new blog, when I come across it, with the same button on my browser I can just add it to my reader. I really have become such a geek, but I'm OK with that. Technology, even with all of its frustrations and occasional problems, really amazes me. Some sites I highly recommend are listed below. They are either about Google or gluten-free recipes. Check them out if you have some time.

First and foremost, my own blog about my ups and downs of living yeast-free:

http://myyeastfreejourney.blogspot.com/

Some new favorites that I can't wait to read through and catch up on are:

http://www.flour-arrangements.com/

http://glutenfree.wordpress.com/

http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/

My newest favorite is one that chronicles another person's journey to living yeast-free and I have found a lot of encouragement in it today, as I have fallen into the 'I-just-had-knee-surgery-and-just-don't-care-right-now' trap! I'm getting out of it though. Starting now. The fridge is stocked again with foods that I can make and eat, after a month and a half of Kris buying things that are quick and easy for him and the kids since I have sort of been out of commission.

http://yeastfreeliving.com/

And if you want to check out Google Reader, try this link:

http://www.google.com/intl/en/googlereader/tour.html

I cannot wait to go back to the YMCA. I had planned to go last Thursday when Kris and Kaleb went to Tae Kwon Do, but Katherine really wanted to stay home, so I stayed home with her and Abbey. But the physical therapist told me that I can walk in the pool and try the stationary bike. He said that I may not be able to get all the way around on the bike but it was safe to start trying and to only go as far as my knee would let me.

It feels good to write again. I've missed it so much. I've just been in kind of a slump for the last couple of weeks. Sickness or injury always seem to do that. But I'm tired of it and hope to get back to losing weight. I'm down 20 lbs since Oct. 23 and while I lost most of that within the first 6 weeks, at least with all my eating poorly lately I have maintained the weight. But it's time to stop messing around and to start eating healthy again. It is vital, not only for me but for Olivia too. In some ways it would be easier if I were a stay at home mom and had time during the day to experiment and try these new recipes that use the alternative flours and sugars, but I don't. So I will just have to do what I can, when I can.

Knee Surgery

When I anticipated having a lot of time to blog while I recovered from knee surgery, I didn't factor into it not being able to sit at a table/desk or not being able to have my laptop on my lap for extended periods of time. So here it is, over a week later and I am finally getting around to updating.

I had knee surgery a week ago tomorrow. It seems to be taking longer than the surgeon led me to believe it would with regards to recovery. He said I'd need crutches for the first couple of days (I was still using them this morning). I am hoping to make it through work tomorrow with no crutches and no pain meds-primarily no meds because I am out. I do not know how surgery/recovery is supposed to work. I know that before the surgery I was told I had A meniscus tear. Upon coming out of surgery, Kris told me the surgeon found THREE tears and that my knee cap was out of place. So can that possibly explain why the recovery seems to be taking longer than I anticipated? In any case, I am able to be up for limited periods of time. If I had a job that kept me on my feet for extended periods of time there is no way I would even consider going back to work tomorrow. But fortunately I sit at a desk. However, this poses a problem as well seeing as how I could barely sit through Sunday School and then church service. I mean, I sat through just fine. But I was extremely uncomfortable most of the time and there isn't really a good way to prop my knee up at work. I am going to just play it by ear. If it is bothering me too much, I will just head home and take some pretend pain pills (i.e. I'll just wish I had something to take) and prop my knee up and ice it. Overall though, my knee IS getting better, little by little...it's just the 'little' part that I have a problem with. I am ready to get back to 'normal'.

Funny things kids say

Not quite a year ago I did one of those silly 'survey' things on Facebook. I rarely do them, but since this one was centered around my kids, I did it. Tonight I am sitting here, a little bored, but enjoying some peace and quiet (except for the music I'm listening to). I got Kris a new computer game he's been wanting and after making room on his computer for it and then spending 2 hours getting it installed he really wanted to play it. So I told him to go ahead-like another Christmas present from me to him. ;-) Anyway, so he is sitting over there playing and has been for almost an hour and quite seriously is probably still creating his character. He's funny to watch. He keeps making the strangest faces and I have to either stop watching him, or he'll have to keep stopping so he can answer my question "Why do you have that look on your face?" Ok, so back to the survery. I stumbled upon the survey tonight and it was just too funny and too cute not to share. At the time, the kids were 8, 7, 6, and 3. They had some interesting answers to the questions.

1.What is something mom always says to you?
Abbey (age 6) - "Clean your room"
Katherine (age 8) - "I love you."
Kaleb (age 7) - "You say lots of things"
Livvy (age 3) - "Stop crying" - very true!


2.What makes mommy happy?
Abbey - "Making a card" -huh?
Katherine - "When we're not mean to each other"
Kaleb - "Giraffes" - this is true
Livvy - "Laugh"


3.What makes mommy sad?
Abbey - "Punch her in the face" - nice
Katherine - "When we're mean to each other"
Kaleb - "When we're mean to each other"
Livvy - "When I cry" - surprisingly she is dead on!

4.How does your mommy make you laugh?
Abbey - "if her tickle me"
Katherine - "By making fun of Daddy" - sadly this is dead on!
Kaleb - "tickles me"
Livvy-she's just laughing now

5.What was your mommy like as a child?
Abbey - "like me"
Katherine - "I don't know"
Kaleb - "I don't know"
Livvy - "I tell you something to learn how to do" - this girl doesn't quite understand the concept but I thought her answer would be funny.

6.How old is your mommy?
Abbey - "I don't know - 199"
Katherine - "30"
Kaleb - "30"
Livvy - "5"

7.How tall is your mommy?
Abbey - "2 feet tall"
Katherine - "about 5 ft" - she's closer-I'm 5'5".
Kaleb - "5 ft" - I swear he didn't hear or read Katherine's answers first!
Livvy - she just reached her arm up high

8.What is her favorite thing to do?
Abbey - "sleep" - this is not true
Katherine - "Eat dessert" - yes...this is probably up at the top
Kaleb - "Play with us" - I wish!
Livvy - "Eat onions" - um...what?

9.What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Abbey - "play on her laptop" - this is anytime :-)
Katherine - "She spends time by herself."
Kaleb - "I don't know"
Livvy - "Look for me"

10.If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Abbey - "being a fashion star" -wow she's ambitious!
Katherine - "Cooking" - I knew she would say this. Good girl!
Kaleb - "A chef" - I love that my kids love my cooking!
Livvy - "Taking pictures at the playground." -probably because this is what I did this afternoon!

11.What is your mommy really good at?
Abbey -"going to sleep" - she's weird and I wish I was good at this!
Katherine - "Cooking" - again...I had this one pegged.
Kaleb - "Cooking" :-)
Livvy - "Laughing"

12.What is your mommy not very good at?
Abbey - "that is hard"
Katherine - "Drawing?"
Kaleb - "You're mostly good at everything" isn't he sweet? :-)
Livvy - "gana" ????

13.What does your mommy do for a job?
Abbey - "play on her computer" I WISH (though maybe SOMETIMES this is true!)
Katherine - "It's something with trucks." This is true.
Kaleb - "She works at Vanliner."
Livvy - "Play with toys" - remember she's 3

14.What is your mommy's favorite food?
Abbey - "Mammaw's pancakes" - while those are good...that's actually Abbey's favorite food!
Katherine - Bayou Bourbon Sauce - not the answer I expected but I do like that.
Kaleb - "I know it's not ice cream. Can you give me a hint" How do these kids not know how much I love chocolate?
Livvy - "Onions" - again with the onions--what the heck?

15.What makes you proud of your mommy?
Abbey - "your cooking"
Katherine - "when she says that she loves me"
Kaleb - "her kindness" :-)
Livvy - "Laugh"

16.If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Abbey - "Princess Peach"
Katherine - "I don't know"
Kaleb - "Wanda on Timmy Turner"
Livvy - "Hanna Tanna" - though Hannah Montana is technically not a cartoon

17.What do you and your mommy do together?
Abbey - "sit together"
Katherine - "we watch movies together"
Kaleb - "Cook"
Livvy - "Play with crayons"

18.How are you and your mommy the same?
Abbey - "we both have brown hair"
Katherine - "we are both very emotional" -ahh...she's so right...I think this one was my favorite answer!
Kaleb - "we both like to cook"
Livvy - "we're white" - interesting...

19.How are you and your mommy different?
Abbey -"you are bigger and I am littler"
Katherine - "we have different middle names" - though she did almost have my middle name but we changed it to Grace after almost losing her before she was born.
Kaleb - "Mommy's a girl and I'm a boy"
Livvy - "lost" - no clue what she means

20.How do you know your mommy loves you?
Abbey - "because she's nice"
Katherine - "because she says she loves us and she acts like she loves us." - i liked this answer. :-)
Kaleb - "because she shows it" and then he said "no wait I don't know"
Livvy - "Hug"

21.What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
Abbey - "he sleeps with you" - wow....no comment!
Katherine - "he helps with the kids" - this is actually one of my favorite things about him
Kaleb - "Mostly everything" -kind of true :-)
Livvy - "Bone" - please don't read into this...it is not to be misconstrued--she is just making up random things

22.Where is your mommy's favorite place to go?
Abbey - "work?" - sometimes this is true!
Katherine - "Florida" - she said this because she knows I really want to go here.
Kaleb - "the zoo" - sure...
Livvy - "Go somewhere"

The 'material' side of Christmas

This is what the family got for Christmas this year from 'Santa'. He even brought us an extra Wii Motionplus Controller to go along with it. Everyone is now testing it out and enjoying Wakeboarding. So far that's all that we've checked out. And by we I mean everyone except Abbey and me. We have yet to test it out but I fully intend to check out anything that I can do while seated. Here is a picture of Kat wakeboarding. Not real exciting I know, but I like having pictures on my blog and since it's my blog, well, here it is! Who cares that you can't really see it!

Kaleb and Katherine have been dying to own a Nintendo DS. Truth be told, they really want Nintendo DSI's but they were just WAY to expensive. Even the used DS's were too expensive. At one point the kids talked about saving their birthday money to get one together but Kaleb basically spent all of his as soon as he got it. Katherine went much longer with saving her money than Kaleb, until she went shopping with me and found some clothes she wanted! So there was no way we could spend $80 on each kid to get them used Nintendo DS's. But we did want them to have something that they could take and enjoy on car rides so we did some research and found some reasonably priced MP3 players and got them each one of those. It has been so funny this morning to watch them walking around listening to songs from Switchfoot and Johnny Cash. Kris showed them how to charge them and add music to them and I am pleased that these were a great distraction from the DS's. As you can see, they were pretty happy. Kaleb actually started screaming (in delight) when he realized what it was.

Abbey is much easier to please, as is Livvy. And 'cheaper'. Abbey was thrilled with her new Polly Pocket and the case that accompanied it. This girl has forever loved Polly Pocket. Livvy also is still in love with Dora and so the dominoes made for the perfect gift. The Dollar Tree helped us finish off Christmas shopping for the kids and I hope that we still have some years left that we can get away with cheap Dollar Tree gifts!

Cookies for Santa

I was in the process of writing this last night but it didn't end up happening. When we got home from church though, the kids wanted to put cookies and milk out for Santa. Katherine of course has to write a note that tells where things are (just like she did one year for the Tooth Fairy), so here is the note she taped to the front door.

Next, it was time to set out the cookies and milk. Good thing I had baked cookies earlier that day because I had actually forgotten about this! Now let me just explain a couple of things here, in case you think the tiny cup and kettle were intended for a tiny Santa or an elf. Katherine of course wrote another note, I guess to make sure Santa knew that THOSE cookies were hers!! Abbey decided to write a note just to tell Santa that she loved him. Abbey came into the kitchen and told me that she wanted to leave chocolate tea for Santa. I was just like 'uh ok'. It was only when I walked into the dining room and saw her little tea kettle and tea cup that I realized she had put these out so that she could leave her chocolate tea for Santa.

Christmas Eve

So, I have this issue with Christmas sweaters. Really, any sweaters that are...well...a little too much. My dear mother use to always buy me sweaters that some people really love. For whatever reason, I have never been able to wear Christmas sweaters. Or sweater vests with things embroidered on them, or anything that isn't usually somewhat plain. I'm a simple girl. Less is more. That kind of thing when it comes to clothes. And for many years my mom would always buy me some sort of sweater/shirt for Christmas that was Christmas themed. Maybe that's my biggest hangup-theme sweaters. There's no natural reason for it really. It's just the way I am. A few weeks ago, my friend Jennifer and I were discussing Christmas sweaters and sweater vests. We were agreeing that neither one of us owned something gaudy like what we've seen others wear, and were thankful for that. We even went so far as to call them 'mom' sweaters. Sorry mom! It wasn't meant offensive or anything...just things that we have seen our mothers wear. And then, in walks Jennifer's mom. Wearing what we had moments before been discussing. It was a very funny moment.

Sunday at church Cindy was wearing a red Christmas knit-type vest with Christmas trees, presents, the works embroidered on it. I forgive Cindy (as well as any teacher or mother or grandmother) a lot when it comes to these types of things. They're supposed to wear those-it's almost expected. And I don't have a real problem with these types of things, except for wearing them myself. It's just not my thing, not my style. Well anyway, so Cindy is wearing this and it is something I consider 'loud' so of course I noticed it. But I didn't say anything.

And then, tonight at church, I noticed that Dean was wearing a familiar red vest and what appeared to be some sort of necklace. He was up in front of the church with the choir and I thought 'that's odd' and 'is that the same vest Cindy wore on Sunday?' Come to find out, yes, it was. It was cause for amusement for sure!

I can't remember if it was on the way to church or the way back but I was talking to Kris about how I hoped I don't turn into one of those people who at some point in life decides that it is okay for ME to wear that type of thing. Other people can wear it all they want. But at some point, am I going to WANT to wear the loud, crazy sweater vests??? I'm scared for that day to arrive.

What made this whole thing even more amusing is what happened after we got home. We have a tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve. We each get to choose whichever present we want that is under the tree. Though this year Kaleb was not going to let me choose. Prior to today he has told me on several different occasions that I should open my gift from him first because it was something I could use. Something I would really 'need'. I was thinking maybe he got me a scarf or gloves or something. They had the store at school and we gave the kids some money so I was thinking 'one of those could be cheap enough I guess'. When I opened it up, I found it hard not to show both horror and amusement on my face. While it was NOT a sweater vest with crazy loud Christmas things on it, it was a Christmas sweatshirt. See the picture below. What made it even funnier is that he said 'It looked like something Mammaw would wear and so I wanted to get it for you.' He was telling me how I could wear it to stay warm. I promised him that I would wear it tomorrow. Maybe it's things like your kids getting you a gift that you wouldn't choose for yourself and having to smile and nod and wear it anyway because of the time and effort AND THOUGHT that they put into picking it out for you.

Listening? What's that?

Children and men...they don't listen. But today my 'issue' is with an actual small child and not a man. Olivia got this stamp for Christmas at school today. I kept telling her 'No you can't use that right now.' I'm pretty sure I told her about 4 times. She kept telling me that she wanted to and I kept telling her 'not right now'. You'd think it would click with her; that it would sink in, that she'd figure it out. So why, just a moment later do I look over and see her with the stamp up against her forehead? It was yet another moment where your kid is doing something they really shouldn't be doing but it is being done in such a way that it is very cute, and very funny at the same time.

Here is how she wound up, just moments after I told her she could NOT use her stamps. The pictures are horrible because my camera wasn't charged and so I was using Kris' cell phone. Oh and I don't know how to rotate the picture from his phone so one of them is sideways. The first two pictures are both of her arms. To make it even cuter, she proudly proclaimed (not worried at all that she was doing something she wasn't supposed to) "I'm ready for Christmas!"

A Reading Experiment

A few months ago, I read The Memory Keeper's Daughter and really enjoyed it. Two days ago I finished a book called The Concubine's Daughter, which was also very good-disturbing but intriguing and well-written. Last night I made another trip to the library. It was time for a new book. I was not planning to stay on the 'daughter' theme. I didn't even realize I HAD a 'daughter' theme until I settled on a book called The Abortionist's Daughter. So far the writing isn't bad and the story is interesting. Then I started thinking that maybe I'll stay on this theme for a while. So when I finish my current book I am going to find someone else's daughter and read about that too. We'll see how it turns out.

Falling apart at the seams

The results of the MRI are in and I have since seen the orthopedic surgeon. I have a meniscus tear on my right knee. Surgery is scheduled to repair the tear on December 28th. Merry Christmas! Between my problems and my mother-in-law's health concerns, I don't even think if you combine us we make one complete, healthy person! Because I have had a blood clot, I have to be given Lovenox injections for 5 days after the surgery to prevent a blood clot. I had to have these shots during all of my pregnancies and hated them. There were days I would lay there for 10-15 minutes and could still feel the medicine burning as it spread and was absorbed. But 5 days instead of 9 months is much more manageable.

I am thrilled with the show The Sing Off. I'm sad that it will end on Monday, when it seems like it just began this past week. Oh wait, it did. :-) Four epsiodes is just mean. Especially when you have groups like Nota and The Beelzebubs. Both amazing performing groups as well as talented musicians. Too many people don't appreciate the pure talent the accompanies acapella singing. The Sing Off is available here http://www.hulu.com/the-sing-off.

My kids have been saying some cute/funny things lately and I've been putting them on Facebook as my status but thought I should 'jot' them down here. It's primarily been Abbey and Livvy because they are still at that stage where they don't always pronounce words correctly. Here are some of my latest favorites:

Livvy while watching the Jackie Chan cartoons: "We're watching Jackie Channel."

Me: "Abbey you need pants on underneath that because it's cold.

Abbey: "Can I pleeease wear capri suns?"

Me: "I guess."

Livvy: "Mommy, it's not the 'pri suns we drink. It's the ones we wear. You'll see."

Katherine while watching The Biggest Loser with me: "I would punch Jillian in the face!"

Livvy talking about her Polly Pocket who apparently lies: "Yeah, she's Satan's daughter."

Livvy holding the DVD trying to convince me that she loves Lord of the Rings and wants to watch it (interesting reasoning as you will see): "W-I-D-E-S-C-R-E-E-N. See! Lord of the Rings!"

Abbey this morning while eating a Clementine: "Mommy, this one is so cute I'm going to save her for last. I didn't get time to name her, so I will name her in my belly. Her name is Orangie."

More time to write

While I should be using all this time that I am not in the office working, it is much easier said than done. I think I put in about 5 hours today. My knee has been bothering me a lot today-at first, when I first had my encounter with the bleachers, it only hurt when I tried to move it. Yesterday was a better day and I was able to get up and do a little bit more, though I still tried to take it easy. Today though, even elevated it just aches. Standing becomes problematic because I can't really put my full weight on that leg or even half my weight for long before it starts hurting. And when I try to keep the weight off of it completely while standing, my left leg begins hurting. I may be exploring the crutches option tomorrow evening when we go to our work Christmas party at Dave & Buster's simply so that I can be up and move a little bit without putting an uneven amount of weight on either leg. That is to be determined.

The main reason I started this post was to share a little story about Abbey. Abbey is in love with herself. I think I have shared before that she has explained that she loves herself as much as she loves God. And then she loves her Uncle Brandon the most after that! So funny. Well, now that she can read and is learning to write, she writes stories. And they are always along the same lines and vary only as she learns new words/people's names. Here is a story she brought me tonight. It was written on post-its and then stuck together, like a book.

It's called 'I love you Abbey'.

I love you Abbey. I do love you Abbey.

I like you Abbey. I do like you.

Do you love me? Do you like me? I love you. I like you.

Who love me? Who like me?

Who love you? Who like you?

My dad like me.

My dad love me.

My mom like me.

My mom love me.

My dad love you.

My dad like you.

My mom love you.

My mom like you.

That girl is just bubbling with love. Yet again, she has brought a smile to my face and made my day!

Laid Up

On Monday night, the kids had their school Christmas program. There were chairs set up in the gymnasium but when we got there (30 minutes early!) most of the front half of chairs were taken/being saved. So we decided that in order to actually SEE the kids, we'd sit in the bleachers. Perhaps that was my first mistake.

Halfway through the program I got down to take Olivia to the bathroom. I was stepping down and the first few steps were fine; however, that last step, unbeknown to me, was double the height of the first steps. I misjudged it and because I was expecting it to be the same height as the others, almost fell. In the process of balancing myself so that I didn't fall, all of my weight found itself resting on my right knee. It HURT!

When I got out of bed yesterday morning, I couldn't walk. I couldn't put any weight on my leg at all or even stretch it out during the night Monday night. Fortunately, having had a similar (but not so bad) experience with this same knee back in June, I had a knee brace. I put it on and was able to hobble around and make it in to work. But because of the pain and not being able to walk without the brace, I called my doctor and got in to see her yesterday.

She moved my leg around and pressed on my knee in many different places (some hurt pretty bad). Then she told me that she believed I had done something to my meniscus. I went for an MRI this morning and now I have to go see an othropedic surgeon on Friday morning. Hopefully it will heal on its own without the need for surgery.

It's one of those moments where I feel like we can't catch a break. I find myself frustrated because I have no PTO left this year and yet have to be off my leg again tomorrow and Friday (except to go see the surgeon) and am trying to work from my laptop on my couch with my leg elevated. It hasn't been easy and I haven't yet been able to put 8 hours in today. I have a feeling that my paycheck this week will not be very 'full'. Not the best thing right at Christmas time.

Proud, card-carrying members

We joined the YMCA. The St. Louis area has 21 YMCA's (I think that's the right number). We got a metro pass and we can go to any of the area YMCA's. We have a few favorites. Our favorite to go to so far with regards to the fitness center is down near the Galleria. The one in Maryland Heights is great for the kids. Their pool has a shallow play area. Even Olivia can walk around and play and still touch the bottom AND keep her head above water! They have so much fun there. This particular branch has a water slide and this whirlpool area that spins the kids around. This whirlpool has been the cause of much distress with Abigail.

The other night when we were there she was a little frightened of it. She was too scared to go in there without a noodle or floaties or life jacket. So she put a life jacket on and went over there and the lifeguard told her that she couldn't go in there with the life jacket on. This sent Abbey into tears. She kept crying and saying how she wanted to go in there and put the life jacket on so that she could be safe and then the lifeguard told her that it wasn't safe to be in there with those. She was not happy. Quite the opposite. It was one of those moments when your heart breaks for your child and yet you can't help but laugh because of how cute the kid looks explaining it to you. I had hoped that this would be the end of it. It was not.

Tonight we went back there and took the kids swimming. Abbey wanted to go in the whirlpool but ended up chickening out (I don't mean this in a negative way). Well, a little while later she had a noodle and was trying to swim away from the whirlpool thing. It sucked her right in and she let go of the noodle and I saw her gripping the side of the whirlpool area. The lifeguard jumped down as I was heading towards her. I grabbed her and took her over to the other side of the pool. She burst into tears again. I didn't realize at first she was trying to get away from the whirlpool. She told me that she was trying to get away from it and it pulled her in. She was so scared! Poor girl. She just kept crying and saying she was ready to go. Then she told me that she never wanted to come to that pool again.

Funny funny kids

So today we were on our way home from church and Katherine and Kaleb started discussing taking the Lord's name in vain. Katherine's teacher said that they shouldn't say 'oh my' anything. So we started talking to the kids about what was OK and what wasn't. I told them that they shouldn't say 'Oh my God!' Well, at that point the kids were gasping...I told them I was only saying it to demonstrate what they shouldn't say. So we kept talking about whether it was OK to say 'Oh my goodness'. I told them I thought it was. I can't remember how it all started but we all started naming things we could say 'Oh my...' This lasted the entire drive home and I just wanted to share a couple of my favorites. I had say 'Oh my whatever.' Kaleb then decided to shout out 'Oh my nevermind!' It was funny.

And this kept going on and on, and finally Kaleb shouts out 'Oh my gluten!' It was really funny. My kids normally wouldn't even know that word, but with the recent dietary changes, they know all about gluten! We had a really fun drive home from church this morning.

Livvy has been joining in with this whole 'Mommy's eating different' thing. She will eat something and then say 'Can you have this?' And I'll say 'no' and she'll ask me why and I'll tell her that it's because it has sugar or gluten or some other substance I can't have. It's really cute. Seriously the girl asks me at least 3-4 times each day if I can eat something, or in the case of juice, drink something. When she happens upon something I can have and I tell her that 'yes I can have that' she just smiles. She makes me laugh.

The new...lifestyle...

I have been meaning to sit down for the last two weeks, when I had some spare time (ha ha...) and write. So much has changed just in the last couple of weeks. Anyone fortunate enough to follow me on Facebook ;-) already knows most of this. But I am putting it here for those of you who aren't over there.

First things first, since October 23rd, I have lost 10 pounds. Since January, I have lost a total of 30 pounds! Two nights ago I bought a new pair of jeans, one size smaller than what I had been wearing. It felt amazing...and didn't look too bad either! Still nowhere near where I want to be...but little by little, I will get there.

I wasn't really given much choice in the matter, and for that, I am actually quite thankful. I went to my new doctor and she did some tests and told me I have an over-abundance of yeast in my stomach. How do you get rid of it? Antibiotics. An anti-fungal for 30 days. And a completely yeast-free diet. This scared me at first. After being on it for 2 weeks though, the most difficult part of it is all the planning. If I don't plan, I don't eat. Some yeast-free diets are stricter than others. Some say no dairy and no fruit. Mine is not THAT limited...but it is limited in many other ways. Here is the list of things I cannot have...at least until the infection is gone and I return to the doctor on 12/22:

Sugar

Honey

Syrup

Malt

Fructose

Corn Syrup

Fermented/Vinegar containing foods such as salad dressings, mustard, ketchup, mayo, soy sauce, tofu/tempeh

Yeasty foods such as bread (including gluten grains such as wheat, spelt, malt, barley, oats, rye and millet), bagels, beer and wine

Moldy foods such as coffee and tea

Foods in the fungus family (mushrooms)

Olives

Juices NOT freshly made

It's a 'short' list...but if a food doesn't have gluten in it, it has sugar in it. If it doesn't have sugar in it, it has high fructose corn syrup. If it doesn't have any of those, chances are it has vinegar in it!! So, it's been hard, finding foods I enjoy. Basically I can eat meat, fresh nuts, eggs, fresh fruits (as long as they don't have moldy skin-grapes, strawberries and melons are out) and brown rice or corn. I got tired of eggs for breakfast quickly and I don't get up early enough most mornings to make sausage-and even the sausage I have to be careful on because many of them I can't have. I've only found one form of sausage by Jimmy Dean that I can even eat!

Overall though, besides the obvious weight loss advantages, I am feeling a LOT better. No problems with my stomach (except the one day I took communion-I think I may have a gluten allergy). Much, MUCH less anxiety. More energy. More motivation to do things around the house. My favorite benefit is not being edgy with the kids all the time. Or Kris. My mood in general has just been better overall and it is a good feeling.

After the infection is gone (it's called candida, or yeast overgrowth), I may be able to add things back in. My doctor hasn't told me I can/will be able to and even if she says I can add bread back in, for the most part, I do not plan to change anything. Besides...I have a feeling that if I add stuff back in...my body will not react well after depriving myself of it for 2 months!